So.. We've finally decided to ask for help.
Sort of.
I decided to set up an online fundraiser. Our 'goal' is $15,000.. which is enough for around 5 months of injections, or one round of invitro. Yes, quite unlikely that we'd raise that much.. unless I have relatives with money I don't know about. ;)
But even if we could get a few thousand, that would pay for a month of injections. In other words, anything helps.
And I started thinking about how I have over 500 Facebook friends. My husband has several hundred. If every person donated $5, we'd be well on our way.
The reasoning for doing it now, is pretty simple. We're asking that family, friends, and coworkers consider making a donation instead of sending us a greeting card, buying me a drink on my birthday, or giving us a Starbucks giftcard for Christmas. We just don't need any of that stuff.. and the possible gift of conceiving is far more important.
We also recognize that this is a hard time for a lot of folks. We're in no way demanding or expecting people to donate. We just wanted people to know that this is our priority. If you want to give us anything, for any reason, this is our preference right now.
If you want to donate, just follow this link: Our Little Wish
You can donate any amount. Even just $1. And surely, there are 15,000 people in this world that would give us a dollar if they knew our story.
So, whether you donate or not.. PLEASE share this with others. Post a link on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, etc. The more people we reach, the better.
Thank you!
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Friday, December 23, 2011
Words That Sting
I had no idea what to say. It felt like someone just punched me in my ribcage. I could barely breathe, and I wanted to burst into tears. All because somebody, that I didn't know, asked me if I was pregnant.
They had overheard me telling someone that my stomach hurts, and they just blurted out, "Well, are you pregnant?" Is stomach pain really the first symptom? I found it hard to accept that pregnancy was the first thing that came to this person's mind in reference to a stomach-ache. And all I could muster back to her question was, "No." Not a jokey, "Oh heck, no!" or "No" with a chuckle. Just "No." I wondered if she even noticed how seriously in which I answered. It was definitely not how most people answer in casual conversation.
But the truth is, I wanted to go hide. I knew that the stomach pain was probably from the fertility meds.. but I couldn't explain that. Nor would this stranger want such an over-explanation. So, I just sat there.. quiet and hurt.
Sure, it's always unintentional. And usually, it pops up and hits you when you least expect it. But this wasn't the first time that somebody's words have left a sting.
It's always hard when someone asks us, "So, when are YOU guys going to have kids?" Ugh. If they only knew what I meant when I said, "Oh, well we're trying."
Next up, like the first example, are the folks that overhear a few symptoms that are usually from the meds themselves, and ask, "Are you pregnant?" Nope. Thanks for your interest. Here's my tip for people. Never casually ask someone if they're pregnant unless you're 100% sure they aren't and you're joking, and/or you know they aren't trying.
And the last one, that actually gets under my skin the most, is "If it's meant to be, it'll be." Seriously? Somebody is pissing rainbows. I hate this phrase. First, I don't believe in fate; as if everything is pre-determined. I believe you have to make things happen for yourself. Imagine where our world would be if people literally just believed that whatever was supposed to happen, would happen? Nobody would go to a doctor. "If I die, I was meant to." Nobody would go to school. "If I'm meant to have a great job, it'll just happen." Life definitely doesn't work that way. And throwing that phrase at people trying to get pregnant is about as useful as when it's told to people who are going through a rough patch in their relationship. It's not a destiny thing. It's something you work through, or you don't.
Secondly, "If it's meant to be, it'll be." actually implies that if we don't have kids, it wasn't meant to be. As if the universe has decided I just don't deserve to be a mother. Is that really supposed to make me feel better? And the truth is, maybe IVF would get us pregnant, but if I choose not to take it that far.. that means I chose it. Not that we weren't "meant to" have children.
Let me say here, though, that I get it when people are trying to be uplifting and hopeful. Or trying to get me to not worry about it. Just understand that when people are actively trying; seeing doctors and taking meds.. we have no choice but to think about it daily.. if not hourly. And the words you think are helping, just aren't. No matter how well intentioned, they kind of feel like a slap in the face.
They had overheard me telling someone that my stomach hurts, and they just blurted out, "Well, are you pregnant?" Is stomach pain really the first symptom? I found it hard to accept that pregnancy was the first thing that came to this person's mind in reference to a stomach-ache. And all I could muster back to her question was, "No." Not a jokey, "Oh heck, no!" or "No" with a chuckle. Just "No." I wondered if she even noticed how seriously in which I answered. It was definitely not how most people answer in casual conversation.
But the truth is, I wanted to go hide. I knew that the stomach pain was probably from the fertility meds.. but I couldn't explain that. Nor would this stranger want such an over-explanation. So, I just sat there.. quiet and hurt.
Sure, it's always unintentional. And usually, it pops up and hits you when you least expect it. But this wasn't the first time that somebody's words have left a sting.
It's always hard when someone asks us, "So, when are YOU guys going to have kids?" Ugh. If they only knew what I meant when I said, "Oh, well we're trying."
Next up, like the first example, are the folks that overhear a few symptoms that are usually from the meds themselves, and ask, "Are you pregnant?" Nope. Thanks for your interest. Here's my tip for people. Never casually ask someone if they're pregnant unless you're 100% sure they aren't and you're joking, and/or you know they aren't trying.
And the last one, that actually gets under my skin the most, is "If it's meant to be, it'll be." Seriously? Somebody is pissing rainbows. I hate this phrase. First, I don't believe in fate; as if everything is pre-determined. I believe you have to make things happen for yourself. Imagine where our world would be if people literally just believed that whatever was supposed to happen, would happen? Nobody would go to a doctor. "If I die, I was meant to." Nobody would go to school. "If I'm meant to have a great job, it'll just happen." Life definitely doesn't work that way. And throwing that phrase at people trying to get pregnant is about as useful as when it's told to people who are going through a rough patch in their relationship. It's not a destiny thing. It's something you work through, or you don't.
Secondly, "If it's meant to be, it'll be." actually implies that if we don't have kids, it wasn't meant to be. As if the universe has decided I just don't deserve to be a mother. Is that really supposed to make me feel better? And the truth is, maybe IVF would get us pregnant, but if I choose not to take it that far.. that means I chose it. Not that we weren't "meant to" have children.
Let me say here, though, that I get it when people are trying to be uplifting and hopeful. Or trying to get me to not worry about it. Just understand that when people are actively trying; seeing doctors and taking meds.. we have no choice but to think about it daily.. if not hourly. And the words you think are helping, just aren't. No matter how well intentioned, they kind of feel like a slap in the face.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Medications & Money
So, today, since I was off work.. I had time to call the 'recommended' mail-order pharmacy to get my meds for this cycle. According to the doctor, since they are a "specialized" pharmacy, they tend to be cheaper. They're called Freedom Fertility Pharmacy.
I only needed two medications. One is the Clomid. The other is the shot I have to take if the Clomid works, called Ovidrel. No surprise, insurance won't pay for either. They gave me the generic Clomid, but apparently Ovidrel has no generic counterpart. My out-of-pocket, for those two medications (that I'll take for a total of 6 days) is...
$120.35
Bleh.
Yeah, I know it's hardly earth-shattering.. and pales in comparison to the 15k needed for IVF. But still, it's a good chunk of a paycheck; especially around the holidays. Not to mention, we'll have to pay for an ultrasound for each attempt. Fingers crossed that this works.. because my brain and my wallet may not be up for anything more drastic.
I only needed two medications. One is the Clomid. The other is the shot I have to take if the Clomid works, called Ovidrel. No surprise, insurance won't pay for either. They gave me the generic Clomid, but apparently Ovidrel has no generic counterpart. My out-of-pocket, for those two medications (that I'll take for a total of 6 days) is...
$120.35
Bleh.
Yeah, I know it's hardly earth-shattering.. and pales in comparison to the 15k needed for IVF. But still, it's a good chunk of a paycheck; especially around the holidays. Not to mention, we'll have to pay for an ultrasound for each attempt. Fingers crossed that this works.. because my brain and my wallet may not be up for anything more drastic.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Welcome
Hello, and welcome. Allow me to explain the purpose of this blog a little bit. Almost a year ago now, I married my best friend. Ever since, we've been actively trying to conceive. Unfortunately, I knew since childhood that things wouldn't be easy. What I didn't know, was how very hard it would be for me to get pregnant.
So far, we've done a couple cycles of progesterone and Clomid; to no avail. And for almost two years now, I've been on Metformin.. but it's literally done nothing to help. So, I've now been referred to a specialist (reproductive endocrinologist). Sound expensive? It is. Just for the consultation, it's $200. What's worse? Insurance covers NOTHING related to fertility. I find something disturbing about the fact that insurance companies will pay out for Viagra, but not Clomid.. but I digress.
That brings me to this blog. After posting about my dismay of facing the end of our path; due to lack of funding, I joked with a friend that I needed to start a fundraiser. Though I was kidding, after some thought, I figured it wasn't a terrible idea. People raise money for cancer treatments and such all the time. While infertility isn't life-threatening.. it is heartbreaking.
My heart breaks every day, when I think about having to give up on the idea of having children, and when I think of how.. as a wife, I can't help but feel like I've let my husband down. He has always remained supportive, but I know this is hurting him.
So, for now, we're accepting donations. But more importantly, we're accepting ideas of how to raise funds. Clearly, we need to do something. The treatments that come next cost thousands of dollars each time you try. Just as an example, IVF (in-vitro) costs 10-15 thousand dollars; and it takes 2 to 3 times for most women to have a successful pregnancy. You can do the math. It's also costly to go through the adoption process, should we decide to choose that path. For folks that live "okay" from paycheck to paycheck, it's just not possible to pay that out as one lump sum.
Along the way, I'll blog about our experiences and decisions. How far will we go? Will I sacrifice my health to try to conceive? You'll read all about our trials and errors. Our moments of despair, and moments filled with hope.
Help us make Our Little Wish come true.
(and should it never happen for us, I can only hope this blog and our journey, will provide insight to others on this painful and complicated path)
So far, we've done a couple cycles of progesterone and Clomid; to no avail. And for almost two years now, I've been on Metformin.. but it's literally done nothing to help. So, I've now been referred to a specialist (reproductive endocrinologist). Sound expensive? It is. Just for the consultation, it's $200. What's worse? Insurance covers NOTHING related to fertility. I find something disturbing about the fact that insurance companies will pay out for Viagra, but not Clomid.. but I digress.
That brings me to this blog. After posting about my dismay of facing the end of our path; due to lack of funding, I joked with a friend that I needed to start a fundraiser. Though I was kidding, after some thought, I figured it wasn't a terrible idea. People raise money for cancer treatments and such all the time. While infertility isn't life-threatening.. it is heartbreaking.
My heart breaks every day, when I think about having to give up on the idea of having children, and when I think of how.. as a wife, I can't help but feel like I've let my husband down. He has always remained supportive, but I know this is hurting him.
So, for now, we're accepting donations. But more importantly, we're accepting ideas of how to raise funds. Clearly, we need to do something. The treatments that come next cost thousands of dollars each time you try. Just as an example, IVF (in-vitro) costs 10-15 thousand dollars; and it takes 2 to 3 times for most women to have a successful pregnancy. You can do the math. It's also costly to go through the adoption process, should we decide to choose that path. For folks that live "okay" from paycheck to paycheck, it's just not possible to pay that out as one lump sum.
Along the way, I'll blog about our experiences and decisions. How far will we go? Will I sacrifice my health to try to conceive? You'll read all about our trials and errors. Our moments of despair, and moments filled with hope.
Help us make Our Little Wish come true.
(and should it never happen for us, I can only hope this blog and our journey, will provide insight to others on this painful and complicated path)
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