Well, this past Wednesday, hubby and I met with the fertility specialist; to reassess, and figure out what comes next.
Before even walking in the door, we knew we couldn't really afford to do anything right now. I'm fine with taking out a small loan in the future, if we have to... but it just doesn't make sense to do it right now. Not when we're hoping to buy a house in the next 6-9 months, and taking out a loan could keep us from getting a mortgage.
Sure, my heart wants to just plunge forward and deal with it later.. but the reality is, that could leave me with no house to call our own, and no children if the treatments don't work. We both agreed that it made sense to secure a house first.
So, as we walked in, the doc basically reiterated that, "Well, doesn't seem that Femara works very well for you. So... this is where it starts getting expensive."
I had an idea of what that meant, but wanted to just clarify. "So, for the injections, how much does each cycle run?"
First, he replied as if slightly offended that I asked that way. "I don't like saying 'each cycle' because that implies that it'll go on and on.'"
Well... sorry doc. But it has already. One year of metformin. Three cycles of metformin and clomid. Three cycles of metformin and femara. Excuse me for planning ahead, and not assuming that the first time is going to work. Eh. And even if it DOES work, there's only a 20% chance of actually conceiving. So, on average.. that's 5 cycles.
Hopefully, it doesn't take 5 cycles.. because as suspected, his response to cost was, "about $3,000. Your medication for one cycle is $1500, and the ultrasounds and bloodwork will be about $1500."
So, if you do the math.. that's $15,000 for 5 cycles...... *breathe*
Yes, we could try invitro, for the bargain price of $13,000.. but that still might not work.. and it's all at once. On top of the fact that it's a full-on procedure (injections are scary enough), it just doesn't sound like something I want to do at this point; maybe not ever.
The doc reassured me that on the injections, there's around a 95% chance that you'll ovulate. So, it's just a matter of getting that sucker fertilized and growing.
He then also added, "But this is where your chance for multiples really comes into play. Your chance for twins is about 20%, with a 5% chance of triplets or higher."
Yes! Here comes my own reality show. :P
I explained to the doctor that we're going to need to put off anything further, for financial reasons. And I immediately asked, "Is there any concern about us putting this off for a six months to a year?"
He replied, "Oh no. You're still young. I'm not concerned about that."
Whew! Someone still thinks I'm young.
So, that's what we're doing. Waiting. In the meantime, they want to do an x-ray of fallopian tubes. They inject a dye to see if they're blocked at all. He doesn't suspect there's a problem, but with the costs of the procedures going forward, he doesn't want to waste all that money and time, if the tube does happen to be blocked.
And he only described the procedure as 'unpleasant.'
Well, color me excited.
Showing posts with label clomid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clomid. Show all posts
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
By Thirty-Five?
Since my last post, I've taken some drugs, had an ultrasound, and just had another consultation today. So, allow me to walk you through it.
My cycle began on Christmas Day (just the gift I wanted.. lol).. so, they ordered me to start my Clomid a few days afterwards; making my expected ovulation date January 6th. To see if the Clomid was working, they ordered an ovarian ultrasound.
First, awkward. They sent me into a small bathroom, instructing me to strip from the waist down.. and wrap myself in what basically, was a large, thin paper towel.. that didn't even wrap all the way around my body. So, there I was. A shirt, my socks, and half a towel.. Trying to hold it as I waddle to table; which is sitting in a very dark room. You know the kind of table. The one with stirrups. Yee-haw!
She proceeds to show me the device she will be inserting. Lovely. "Aren't you at least going to light some candles?," I thought. Should I say it out loud? Nah. This lady doesn't look like she'd enjoy such humor at 8am.
So, there I was, looking at this black and white screen, as she showed me one ovary and then the other. It was a weird and unpleasant sensation.. but pretty cool, actually. She was able to essentially zoom in and out, and measure each follicle. The good news is that I had several follicles. The bad news is that none were the size necessary; and clearly weren't going to mature and release an egg.
And if you didn't recall, this was from the highest dose of Clomid. Which means, it's either stop here.. or move onto something else.
Dr. Henry had previously mentioned wanting me to get a dye xray of my fallopian tubes.. which is a pricey, and often painful, procedure. I feared that would be what he advised next. But given our budget, I was preparing myself to argue and plead to just try a different drug first.
My reasoning was that the xray isn't going to help me ovulate. It's only going to show if there's a blockage keeping the egg from getting to my uterus; or keeping my husband's swimmers from my eggs. Either way.. it's irrelevant if I'm not ovulating to begin with.
I arrived to my follow-up consultation this afternoon. The nurse walked me into an exam room; except in here, the exam table looked like it was from the late 70s, and since I wasn't getting an exam, it was bizarre to sit there.. on the one and only chair in the room. And, I had to wait there for 45 minutes before the doctor came in.
Not going to lie, I almost fell apart. It really isn't fair or nice to leave a woman in a room by herself with nothing to think about but her own fertility problems. I was staring out the window and thinking to myself, "Is it really going to come down to dollars and cents? So many people that have no business being parents, have child after child by accident.. and I may never have one, because I can't afford to even get a chance."
I was getting misty-eyed when I decided instead to start rehearsing, in my head, my argument to try the next drug on the infertility go-tos. It's called Femara, and sometimes works for women that don't respond to Clomid. It's more expensive than Clomid (almost double), but still less than the injectables. I proceeded to talk myself up. Be confident. Take control of your own healthcare. Yeah, screw this guy and his opinion!
He finally knocks on the door, and drags in a stool to sit on. He shakes my hand and awkwardly blurts, "So, yeah.. You didn't ovulate."
I just respond with an even more awkward laugh, and "Nope."
As he browses my file, not even looking at me, he starts describing his plan. "Well, I think we're going to move on to another drug and see if it works. Well, I'd like to get the fallopian xray done, but it doesn't matter if we do it now or wait. I'll leave that up to you. But we'll go ahead and do Femara next."
Whew... No confrontation needed. I just tell him I'd prefer to wait on the dye and xray, to see if Femara will even make me ovulate.
He agrees, and adds, "We'll try Femara for 3 cycles, and on the 3rd one, we'll do the xray."
Ehhhh.. sure. I'll argue about it later if I have to. Or just tell him we're done trying at that point..
He proceeds, "And if this doesn't work, we can try injectables, or just go right to invitro."
Woooooah! Slow down. Invitro? We're just getting to the second drug, and he's throwing out the full 15k procedure? I didn't have the heart to tell him that's never going to happen. It was just too depressing.
"You can decide though. Injectables will probably blow up your ovaries with follicles," he stated.
Blow up? That doesn't sound reassuring.. especially since ovaries literally bursting from overstimulation is one of the possible complications. :-/ But I try to ignore the bad word choice, as he clarifies that he meant the chance for multiples.
He then explains how the Femara will work (which I already knew, from my own research), "It's actually for breast cancer patients. Basically, it'll block your estrogen, so your ovaries will try to overcompensate." And added, "So, you won't get the hot flashes or mood swings with this one."
I couldn't help but think, "No.. I'll just get a beard."
One of his last statements was, "Our goal is to get you pregnant by 35; and I don't foresee a problem doing that." (Wish this came with a guarantee)
Well.. that gives me four years.. Unfortunately, he expects me to have 30-40k in order to try. :-/
I leave with a plan. Though, I'll only be able to stay on it for a few months before I have to call it quits. So please, if you're reading this.. knock on wood and cross your fingers for me. Time and money are both running out.
My cycle began on Christmas Day (just the gift I wanted.. lol).. so, they ordered me to start my Clomid a few days afterwards; making my expected ovulation date January 6th. To see if the Clomid was working, they ordered an ovarian ultrasound.
First, awkward. They sent me into a small bathroom, instructing me to strip from the waist down.. and wrap myself in what basically, was a large, thin paper towel.. that didn't even wrap all the way around my body. So, there I was. A shirt, my socks, and half a towel.. Trying to hold it as I waddle to table; which is sitting in a very dark room. You know the kind of table. The one with stirrups. Yee-haw!
She proceeds to show me the device she will be inserting. Lovely. "Aren't you at least going to light some candles?," I thought. Should I say it out loud? Nah. This lady doesn't look like she'd enjoy such humor at 8am.
So, there I was, looking at this black and white screen, as she showed me one ovary and then the other. It was a weird and unpleasant sensation.. but pretty cool, actually. She was able to essentially zoom in and out, and measure each follicle. The good news is that I had several follicles. The bad news is that none were the size necessary; and clearly weren't going to mature and release an egg.
And if you didn't recall, this was from the highest dose of Clomid. Which means, it's either stop here.. or move onto something else.
Dr. Henry had previously mentioned wanting me to get a dye xray of my fallopian tubes.. which is a pricey, and often painful, procedure. I feared that would be what he advised next. But given our budget, I was preparing myself to argue and plead to just try a different drug first.
My reasoning was that the xray isn't going to help me ovulate. It's only going to show if there's a blockage keeping the egg from getting to my uterus; or keeping my husband's swimmers from my eggs. Either way.. it's irrelevant if I'm not ovulating to begin with.
I arrived to my follow-up consultation this afternoon. The nurse walked me into an exam room; except in here, the exam table looked like it was from the late 70s, and since I wasn't getting an exam, it was bizarre to sit there.. on the one and only chair in the room. And, I had to wait there for 45 minutes before the doctor came in.
Not going to lie, I almost fell apart. It really isn't fair or nice to leave a woman in a room by herself with nothing to think about but her own fertility problems. I was staring out the window and thinking to myself, "Is it really going to come down to dollars and cents? So many people that have no business being parents, have child after child by accident.. and I may never have one, because I can't afford to even get a chance."
I was getting misty-eyed when I decided instead to start rehearsing, in my head, my argument to try the next drug on the infertility go-tos. It's called Femara, and sometimes works for women that don't respond to Clomid. It's more expensive than Clomid (almost double), but still less than the injectables. I proceeded to talk myself up. Be confident. Take control of your own healthcare. Yeah, screw this guy and his opinion!
He finally knocks on the door, and drags in a stool to sit on. He shakes my hand and awkwardly blurts, "So, yeah.. You didn't ovulate."
I just respond with an even more awkward laugh, and "Nope."
As he browses my file, not even looking at me, he starts describing his plan. "Well, I think we're going to move on to another drug and see if it works. Well, I'd like to get the fallopian xray done, but it doesn't matter if we do it now or wait. I'll leave that up to you. But we'll go ahead and do Femara next."
Whew... No confrontation needed. I just tell him I'd prefer to wait on the dye and xray, to see if Femara will even make me ovulate.
He agrees, and adds, "We'll try Femara for 3 cycles, and on the 3rd one, we'll do the xray."
Ehhhh.. sure. I'll argue about it later if I have to. Or just tell him we're done trying at that point..
He proceeds, "And if this doesn't work, we can try injectables, or just go right to invitro."
Woooooah! Slow down. Invitro? We're just getting to the second drug, and he's throwing out the full 15k procedure? I didn't have the heart to tell him that's never going to happen. It was just too depressing.
"You can decide though. Injectables will probably blow up your ovaries with follicles," he stated.
Blow up? That doesn't sound reassuring.. especially since ovaries literally bursting from overstimulation is one of the possible complications. :-/ But I try to ignore the bad word choice, as he clarifies that he meant the chance for multiples.
He then explains how the Femara will work (which I already knew, from my own research), "It's actually for breast cancer patients. Basically, it'll block your estrogen, so your ovaries will try to overcompensate." And added, "So, you won't get the hot flashes or mood swings with this one."
I couldn't help but think, "No.. I'll just get a beard."
One of his last statements was, "Our goal is to get you pregnant by 35; and I don't foresee a problem doing that." (Wish this came with a guarantee)
Well.. that gives me four years.. Unfortunately, he expects me to have 30-40k in order to try. :-/
I leave with a plan. Though, I'll only be able to stay on it for a few months before I have to call it quits. So please, if you're reading this.. knock on wood and cross your fingers for me. Time and money are both running out.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
More Medications & More Money
So, starting today.. I'm taking the max doseage of Clomid (150mg); three times what I took before. And I had terrible side effects (rash, night sweats) before.. so this should be interesting.
I also just spoke with the office manager at my specialist's office. She informed me, that unfortunately, insurance will not be covering the cost of the ultrasound. So I have to pay $211 out of pocket, in full, on the day of the test (which is less than two weeks away). For those keeping track.. that means for the minimal treatment, and cheapest treatment, it's about $335 per month. And again, that's for the option that gives us the least chance for success.
What this tells me, is that we can't feasibly try this for more than a couple months; and there's really no way we can take it to the next (more expensive and invasive) level. Obviously, the idea of giving up is a real downer. But I feel like we won't have any choice. The doctor doesn't even do payment plans, so everything has to be paid in full before treatment or testing is provided. There's just no way...
I also just spoke with the office manager at my specialist's office. She informed me, that unfortunately, insurance will not be covering the cost of the ultrasound. So I have to pay $211 out of pocket, in full, on the day of the test (which is less than two weeks away). For those keeping track.. that means for the minimal treatment, and cheapest treatment, it's about $335 per month. And again, that's for the option that gives us the least chance for success.
What this tells me, is that we can't feasibly try this for more than a couple months; and there's really no way we can take it to the next (more expensive and invasive) level. Obviously, the idea of giving up is a real downer. But I feel like we won't have any choice. The doctor doesn't even do payment plans, so everything has to be paid in full before treatment or testing is provided. There's just no way...
Friday, December 9, 2011
Medications & Money
So, today, since I was off work.. I had time to call the 'recommended' mail-order pharmacy to get my meds for this cycle. According to the doctor, since they are a "specialized" pharmacy, they tend to be cheaper. They're called Freedom Fertility Pharmacy.
I only needed two medications. One is the Clomid. The other is the shot I have to take if the Clomid works, called Ovidrel. No surprise, insurance won't pay for either. They gave me the generic Clomid, but apparently Ovidrel has no generic counterpart. My out-of-pocket, for those two medications (that I'll take for a total of 6 days) is...
$120.35
Bleh.
Yeah, I know it's hardly earth-shattering.. and pales in comparison to the 15k needed for IVF. But still, it's a good chunk of a paycheck; especially around the holidays. Not to mention, we'll have to pay for an ultrasound for each attempt. Fingers crossed that this works.. because my brain and my wallet may not be up for anything more drastic.
I only needed two medications. One is the Clomid. The other is the shot I have to take if the Clomid works, called Ovidrel. No surprise, insurance won't pay for either. They gave me the generic Clomid, but apparently Ovidrel has no generic counterpart. My out-of-pocket, for those two medications (that I'll take for a total of 6 days) is...
$120.35
Bleh.
Yeah, I know it's hardly earth-shattering.. and pales in comparison to the 15k needed for IVF. But still, it's a good chunk of a paycheck; especially around the holidays. Not to mention, we'll have to pay for an ultrasound for each attempt. Fingers crossed that this works.. because my brain and my wallet may not be up for anything more drastic.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Hey (Special) Doc
So, after a fun weekend of celebrating our one year anniversary, I was off to the reproductive endocrinologist..
First, props to my husband for taking time off of work to go with me.. though he only ended up answering one question for the doctor; which was, "Do you have any other kids?" (after I had stated I hadn't had any). Luckily, his answer was "no." If it had been "I don't think so." our appointment would have gone very differently. ;-)
Anywho, as soon as I walk into the waiting room, I see a few couples (one of whom was clearly knocked up), and a couple women sitting alone. Half of one of the couples happens to be a teller for the bank I go to for work; at least a few times a week. Ugh. What are the odds? Then later, I find out that one of the men went to school with my hubby. Definitely a small world.
About 40 minutes after we arrive, I get called. We walk back into a very nondescript office. Two barren desks, and a bookshelf with literally nothing on it. No books. No knick-knacks. Clearly, this is the floating office for visiting doctors.
The Doc comes in and shakes my hand. Takes a few moments asking all the usual questions: How long have you been trying? How old are you? What have you tried?
I tell him that my current OB/GYN had me try Clomid at the lowest dose, but was concerned about putting me on higher doseages due to possibly overstimulating the ovaries. Well, this doc clearly did not have that same concern.. as he immediately prescribed that I try the maximum doseage (3 times what I was on). He informs me, "Oh, and with this doseage, you may have some hot flashes and mood swings." Bad news, Doc. I had those side effects on the lowest doseage. So, this should be fun. (my poor husband)
Doc proceeds to inform me that "we do Clomid a little different here." Oh? Do tell. For that, he sends in his nurse, with packets of information. She tells me how we'll induce the cycle (like normal), then I'll take Clomid (like normal), but then instead of a blood test, I'll come in earlier for an ultrasound of my ovaries. Hmm.. Okay. And then, if it looks like I have a follicle ready, then it's injection time.
Ummmm.. what?
Yeah, injections. Fantastic. What's worse? It's the DIY of injections. The kind of injection they expect your husband to give you.. fresh out of the refridgerator, where you store it by the butter. Bleeeeeeeeh. Not sure I'm up for that part. I'm clearly going to have mixed feelings when it's time for the ultrasound.. hoping I have a follicle.. but wishing I didn't need any injections.
Then, lastly, they say.. "Oh. Let's go ahead and do some bloodwork while you're here." Hooray! Always my favorite thing. But I'll give it to them this time. The dear asian lady that took my blood didn't try to engage me in useless chit chat; which never distracts me. It just annoys me. She just did her thing, and I literally didn't feel it. Trust me, I always feel it. So, high-five, asian lady!
That was my 'consult' today. And on a good note, they believe insurance will cover the consult and possibly part of the ultrasound, since it's considered part of "diagnosis" and not treatment. So, here's hoping that the meds are the only thing completely out of pocket.. for the moment.
First, props to my husband for taking time off of work to go with me.. though he only ended up answering one question for the doctor; which was, "Do you have any other kids?" (after I had stated I hadn't had any). Luckily, his answer was "no." If it had been "I don't think so." our appointment would have gone very differently. ;-)
Anywho, as soon as I walk into the waiting room, I see a few couples (one of whom was clearly knocked up), and a couple women sitting alone. Half of one of the couples happens to be a teller for the bank I go to for work; at least a few times a week. Ugh. What are the odds? Then later, I find out that one of the men went to school with my hubby. Definitely a small world.
About 40 minutes after we arrive, I get called. We walk back into a very nondescript office. Two barren desks, and a bookshelf with literally nothing on it. No books. No knick-knacks. Clearly, this is the floating office for visiting doctors.
The Doc comes in and shakes my hand. Takes a few moments asking all the usual questions: How long have you been trying? How old are you? What have you tried?
I tell him that my current OB/GYN had me try Clomid at the lowest dose, but was concerned about putting me on higher doseages due to possibly overstimulating the ovaries. Well, this doc clearly did not have that same concern.. as he immediately prescribed that I try the maximum doseage (3 times what I was on). He informs me, "Oh, and with this doseage, you may have some hot flashes and mood swings." Bad news, Doc. I had those side effects on the lowest doseage. So, this should be fun. (my poor husband)
Doc proceeds to inform me that "we do Clomid a little different here." Oh? Do tell. For that, he sends in his nurse, with packets of information. She tells me how we'll induce the cycle (like normal), then I'll take Clomid (like normal), but then instead of a blood test, I'll come in earlier for an ultrasound of my ovaries. Hmm.. Okay. And then, if it looks like I have a follicle ready, then it's injection time.
Ummmm.. what?
Yeah, injections. Fantastic. What's worse? It's the DIY of injections. The kind of injection they expect your husband to give you.. fresh out of the refridgerator, where you store it by the butter. Bleeeeeeeeh. Not sure I'm up for that part. I'm clearly going to have mixed feelings when it's time for the ultrasound.. hoping I have a follicle.. but wishing I didn't need any injections.
Then, lastly, they say.. "Oh. Let's go ahead and do some bloodwork while you're here." Hooray! Always my favorite thing. But I'll give it to them this time. The dear asian lady that took my blood didn't try to engage me in useless chit chat; which never distracts me. It just annoys me. She just did her thing, and I literally didn't feel it. Trust me, I always feel it. So, high-five, asian lady!
That was my 'consult' today. And on a good note, they believe insurance will cover the consult and possibly part of the ultrasound, since it's considered part of "diagnosis" and not treatment. So, here's hoping that the meds are the only thing completely out of pocket.. for the moment.
Friday, November 25, 2011
One Year
First, I want to thank every person who reached out to me after the last post. So many of you messaged me, texted me, emailed me, etc. Some of you could relate to my story. Some of you had been through it and succeeded. Some of you were still trying. And some of you took completely different paths. I appreciate all of you that took the time to share your stories with me. Thank you.
Which brings me to my current post:
In about a week, I will have been married for exactly one year. Which means, we've actually been trying to get pregnant for about one year... and not preventing for even longer. So, this is officially when the doctors will say you're "reproductively challenged." Nice term, huh? Like my ovaries are riding short bus to school.
In the next two weeks, I have two fertility appointments. One with my original doctor, to ask her to explain why she gave up so fast; after only two cycles on the lowest doseage of Clomid. Typically, they try for at least 6 months on increasing doseages before moving on to more intensive options. Then, the 'consultation' with the specialist to whom she referred me.
I'm looking forward to moving onto the next step, but I'm not really eager to go. These kinds of appointments are always kind of depressing. Why? Because you go in hoping they'll have figured it out. Cracked the code to your specific problem or imbalance. But, they never do. You just follow the regimented steps they learned from their med school textbooks. For example, my diagnosis was made from about 3 symptoms grouped together. There's been no real medical test to confirm or diagnose the extent of the problem. Nobody has even brought it up. I find it peculiar.. In that sense, it probably is better that I'm meeting with a specialist that does nothing but fertility.
It's also depressing when you get a new doctor, for the same old problem. You have to repeat everything, explain all your symptoms, go through your history of heartbreaks and depression. It makes you re-live all those times that you don't even want to think about. What's worse, is that 9 times out of 10, I'll be going alone... which sort of backhandedly reminds me that this is MY problem, not OUR problem.
What's even more depressing, due to timing at the moment, is that this appointment is actually going to kind of muck up our holidays and anniversary. After figuring out our bills, doing our holiday and birthday shopping, and then adding on the doctor's fees... we actually don't have enough left over to go back to the cabin like we intended. I even thought of us just staying in the hotel in West Lafayette that we stayed at the night of our wedding; just to get away and relax for a couple days.. but I'm not even sure we can afford that now.
But not to be too much of a downer.. On the bright side, I only have to work for maybe 4 days out of the next two weeks and half weeks. Had some vacation to take before the end of the year.
And the even better news is, even if I'm upset that we can't celebrate our anniversary the way that I would like... I do get to celebrate an anniversary. Sad as it is, plenty of couples don't even make it to one year. I'm thankful that we've made it work, and actually grown closer when things have gotten hard.
So, to my loving husband... I still choose you. Every second of every day.
I am so thankful to have you by my side through this journey.
Which brings me to my current post:
In about a week, I will have been married for exactly one year. Which means, we've actually been trying to get pregnant for about one year... and not preventing for even longer. So, this is officially when the doctors will say you're "reproductively challenged." Nice term, huh? Like my ovaries are riding short bus to school.
In the next two weeks, I have two fertility appointments. One with my original doctor, to ask her to explain why she gave up so fast; after only two cycles on the lowest doseage of Clomid. Typically, they try for at least 6 months on increasing doseages before moving on to more intensive options. Then, the 'consultation' with the specialist to whom she referred me.
I'm looking forward to moving onto the next step, but I'm not really eager to go. These kinds of appointments are always kind of depressing. Why? Because you go in hoping they'll have figured it out. Cracked the code to your specific problem or imbalance. But, they never do. You just follow the regimented steps they learned from their med school textbooks. For example, my diagnosis was made from about 3 symptoms grouped together. There's been no real medical test to confirm or diagnose the extent of the problem. Nobody has even brought it up. I find it peculiar.. In that sense, it probably is better that I'm meeting with a specialist that does nothing but fertility.
It's also depressing when you get a new doctor, for the same old problem. You have to repeat everything, explain all your symptoms, go through your history of heartbreaks and depression. It makes you re-live all those times that you don't even want to think about. What's worse, is that 9 times out of 10, I'll be going alone... which sort of backhandedly reminds me that this is MY problem, not OUR problem.
What's even more depressing, due to timing at the moment, is that this appointment is actually going to kind of muck up our holidays and anniversary. After figuring out our bills, doing our holiday and birthday shopping, and then adding on the doctor's fees... we actually don't have enough left over to go back to the cabin like we intended. I even thought of us just staying in the hotel in West Lafayette that we stayed at the night of our wedding; just to get away and relax for a couple days.. but I'm not even sure we can afford that now.
But not to be too much of a downer.. On the bright side, I only have to work for maybe 4 days out of the next two weeks and half weeks. Had some vacation to take before the end of the year.
And the even better news is, even if I'm upset that we can't celebrate our anniversary the way that I would like... I do get to celebrate an anniversary. Sad as it is, plenty of couples don't even make it to one year. I'm thankful that we've made it work, and actually grown closer when things have gotten hard.
So, to my loving husband... I still choose you. Every second of every day.
I am so thankful to have you by my side through this journey.
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