Hey (Special) Doc

So, after a fun weekend of celebrating our one year anniversary, I was off to the reproductive endocrinologist..

First, props to my husband for taking time off of work to go with me.. though he only ended up answering one question for the doctor; which was, "Do you have any other kids?" (after I had stated I hadn't had any). Luckily, his answer was "no." If it had been "I don't think so." our appointment would have gone very differently. ;-)

Anywho, as soon as I walk into the waiting room, I see a few couples (one of whom was clearly knocked up), and a couple women sitting alone. Half of one of the couples happens to be a teller for the bank I go to for work; at least a few times a week. Ugh. What are the odds? Then later, I find out that one of the men went to school with my hubby. Definitely a small world.

About 40 minutes after we arrive, I get called. We walk back into a very nondescript office. Two barren desks, and a bookshelf with literally nothing on it. No books. No knick-knacks. Clearly, this is the floating office for visiting doctors.

The Doc comes in and shakes my hand. Takes a few moments asking all the usual questions: How long have you been trying? How old are you? What have you tried?

I tell him that my current OB/GYN had me try Clomid at the lowest dose, but was concerned about putting me on higher doseages due to possibly overstimulating the ovaries. Well, this doc clearly did not have that same concern.. as he immediately prescribed that I try the maximum doseage (3 times what I was on). He informs me, "Oh, and with this doseage, you may have some hot flashes and mood swings." Bad news, Doc. I had those side effects on the lowest doseage. So, this should be fun. (my poor husband)

Doc proceeds to inform me that "we do Clomid a little different here." Oh? Do tell. For that, he sends in his nurse, with packets of information. She tells me how we'll induce the cycle (like normal), then I'll take Clomid (like normal), but then instead of a blood test, I'll come in earlier for an ultrasound of my ovaries. Hmm.. Okay. And then, if it looks like I have a follicle ready, then it's injection time.

Ummmm.. what?

Yeah, injections. Fantastic. What's worse? It's the DIY of injections. The kind of injection they expect your husband to give you.. fresh out of the refridgerator, where you store it by the butter. Bleeeeeeeeh. Not sure I'm up for that part. I'm clearly going to have mixed feelings when it's time for the ultrasound.. hoping I have a follicle.. but wishing I didn't need any injections.

Then, lastly, they say.. "Oh. Let's go ahead and do some bloodwork while you're here." Hooray! Always my favorite thing. But I'll give it to them this time. The dear asian lady that took my blood didn't try to engage me in useless chit chat; which never distracts me. It just annoys me. She just did her thing, and I literally didn't feel it. Trust me, I always feel it. So, high-five, asian lady!

That was my 'consult' today. And on a good note, they believe insurance will cover the consult and possibly part of the ultrasound, since it's considered part of "diagnosis" and not treatment. So, here's hoping that the meds are the only thing completely out of pocket.. for the moment.

Next Step: The Specialist

I just got off the phone with my, now, specialist's office. Per my OB/GYN's referral (I had a whopping two doctors to choose from), I picked this doctor because he occasionally comes to Lafayette. My thinking was that IF we decide to move forward with a more complicated procedure/plan, we wouldn't have to be driving back and forth to Indianapolis all the time.

So, my new Reproductive Endocrinologist is (drum roll, please) Dr. Henry of Reproductive Care of Indiana.

Hey, he seems to have a nice smile. lol And the website really lures you in with all those babies :-P

My appointment is in the second week of December. I apparently have about 20 forms to fill out before my appointment; most of which are blatantly reminding me that everything is out-of-pocket. The consultation with this guy alone is $200. Doesn't sound like a lot.. but ouch.

But we figured it was in our best interest, for mental well-being alone, to meet with him and find out our options.. even if we choose not to, or can't afford to, pursue them.

Welcome

Hello, and welcome. Allow me to explain the purpose of this blog a little bit. Almost a year ago now, I married my best friend. Ever since, we've been actively trying to conceive. Unfortunately, I knew since childhood that things wouldn't be easy. What I didn't know, was how very hard it would be for me to get pregnant.

So far, we've done a couple cycles of progesterone and Clomid; to no avail. And for almost two years now, I've been on Metformin.. but it's literally done nothing to help. So, I've now been referred to a specialist (reproductive endocrinologist). Sound expensive? It is. Just for the consultation, it's $200. What's worse? Insurance covers NOTHING related to fertility. I find something disturbing about the fact that insurance companies will pay out for Viagra, but not Clomid.. but I digress.

That brings me to this blog. After posting about my dismay of facing the end of our path; due to lack of funding, I joked with a friend that I needed to start a fundraiser. Though I was kidding, after some thought, I figured it wasn't a terrible idea. People raise money for cancer treatments and such all the time. While infertility isn't life-threatening.. it is heartbreaking.

My heart breaks every day, when I think about having to give up on the idea of having children, and when I think of how.. as a wife, I can't help but feel like I've let my husband down. He has always remained supportive, but I know this is hurting him.

So, for now, we're accepting donations. But more importantly, we're accepting ideas of how to raise funds. Clearly, we need to do something. The treatments that come next cost thousands of dollars each time you try. Just as an example, IVF (in-vitro) costs 10-15 thousand dollars; and it takes 2 to 3 times for most women to have a successful pregnancy. You can do the math. It's also costly to go through the adoption process, should we decide to choose that path. For folks that live "okay" from paycheck to paycheck, it's just not possible to pay that out as one lump sum.

Along the way, I'll blog about our experiences and decisions. How far will we go? Will I sacrifice my health to try to conceive? You'll read all about our trials and errors. Our moments of despair, and moments filled with hope.

Help us make Our Little Wish come true.
(and should it never happen for us, I can only hope this blog and our journey, will provide insight to others on this painful and complicated path)