2015

Oh, 2015...

You've been one crazy year.

Truly, the most difficult, trying, emotional, surprising, exhausting, draining, exciting. Did I mention exhausting?

As this year heads to a close, with our excitement for Pax's first Xmas and new family traditions, this year feels bittersweet.

It has been an emotional whirlwind of ups and downs. The exhaustion of being new parents. The diagnosis of needing a surgery (being delayed until after pregnancy). The emotional stress in our home from revisiting the past (you can read Brad's blog from earlier this year to get a better understanding). The financial burden of me being a stay-at-home mother. The constant tears that came with Adele's new album ;)

But then there were the surprises (hello, third pregnancy!) and blissful moments. Paxton's birth, Nori and Bristow becoming pals, watching Paxton grow and learn each day -- getting to hear his giggles and ba-ba-bas every morning, our fifth wedding anniversary, and planning so many 'firsts' and new traditions.

And like each year that has come before (and we've obviously had some doozies), it has served as a reminder that we can get through most anything -- as individuals, and as a family.

Undoubtedly, the holidays last year were rough. Nearly all I could think about was how the twins should be there. I won't miss them any less this time around. In fact, watching Paxton makes me think of them often. Would they have the same laugh, or the same nose? Would they smile the same way? So as we plan to always do, their ornaments will be displayed. Their candles will be lit. They will be honored and remembered.

This year, the holidays will be much more sweet though. The best gift under the tree this year will be a very special little boy that has brought an abundance of love into our home. To see him spend his first holiday season with our families is something I'm beyond grateful for. And I want everyone out there that helped us along the way -- from the initial fundraisers to the showers -- to know that we cannot thank you enough. Without you, we wouldn't be making these memories.

So, I end this year, more at home and more in love.

And now we look forward to 2016 -- fearful and excited. We'll have to see how Pax does as a big brother in just a couple of months :)