So, You Wanted Cake Pops For Your 8th Birthday?

I usually write these "birthday" blogs on the actual day. But I decided to just *be* yesterday.
To spend every minute I could with your little brothers -- celebrating you.

But I think it goes without saying that yesterday -- what would have been your 8th birthday -- was painful and beautiful.

Unfortunately, just like last year, many of our 'traditions' are still impossible/unsafe, but we did the best we could.

We still visited the hospital. And we still read Goodnight Moon. It was just outside in the cold...

And we went to buy your birthday cupcakes, and P got to go in with Dad this time.

But then the strangest thing happened.

P needed to go potty on the way home. So, we stopped at a Starbucks.
I tell your dad to go ahead and get me a matcha, but to use my rewards points. As always, P planned to get water too.
A few minutes later, P is at my window handing me my "green drink" .. but then he holds up a bag.
I'm immediately confused and curious -- what did they buy?

And then I hear your Dad say.. "The lady gave us two cake pops." 

He said it as if he was bewildered himself.
So, I wait for them to get situated in the car.

"What do you mean she gave you two cake pops?"
He replied, "When we were grabbing our drinks, the barista quickly handed the bag to P and said, "Here's two cake pops for you and your dad." I thought she said "K cups" at first and was even more confused, then I looked in the bag."
Me, still trying to process, "So you didn't buy them?"
"No. She just gave them to P out of nowhere," he said.

I glance in the bag. Two cake pops with pink frosting and white sprinkles.
And I'm starting to get emotional -- my eyes starting to blur and that anxious feeling in my stomach that feels somewhere between pain and butterflies.

Come on, Carol. You don't even believe in "signs." It's just a coincidence.

But it keeps tugging at me.

I just keep looking at them. 

I knew Starbucks had cake pops. I'd notice them on occasion in the display case. But I never looked at the flavors or paid them much attention.
I then say to Brad, "I'm 99% sure they aren't vegan, unfortunately."
But that 1% leads me to opening my phone to find them on the Starbucks website.

And there it is staring back at me. "Starbucks Birthday Cake Pop."
They gave P the "Birthday Cake" flavor.

So, I don't know.. little ones. What are the odds that on your birthday, we *happen* to stop at Starbucks, and your brother *happens* to need to go inside, and the barista *happens* to give us free food (I've never, ever had that happen before), and she *happens* to give us *two* cake pops, and they *happen* to be the Birthday Cake flavor?
What. Are. The. Odds?

I don't know. But I know you've always been good at beating them -- my babies that survived just to meet us.

But as I would have told you if you were still here, "We already got cupcakes, so we'll share these with someone else."

So there you go, spreading love for your birthday again.

We love you. We miss you.
Happy Birthday, Jasper & Bodhi